Using S.H.O.E.L.A.C.E. technology, the
Saturn now has a dynamic rear stabilizer, much like a fighter jet would.
It helps ensure stability during high performance escape maneuvers, and
produces a pleasing "chathunkathunkathunk" sound when passing over
railroad tracks which serves as a sort of altitude/pressure change
indicator. Its popularity on the highway is so great, people in
adjacent cars often point frantically at the rear of the Saturn with
their thumbs in the air. In fact, sometimes they'll do this for several
miles, flashing me with their brights, or even turning on their
hazards. They are even known to try to making a waving motion
towards the shoulder, which I take to represent some kind of hiphop
compliment. OK, I understand! You like the stabilizer! But
perhaps the best feature that the dynamic rear stabilizer brings to the
table is in discouraging people from trying to follow me, or who are
crowding me. I've gotten good enough with the control system (using the
brake and gas pedal in a rhythmic way) that I can make the trunk move up
and down while driving forward. The net effect to those in the rear is
that of a salt corroded monster, chomping its way towards them; a
terrifying experience. They always back off.
In all, the rear stabilizer is so important, it's become part of the Saturn's motto: "When you're ready for action, lace up the Saturn and go!"
In all, the rear stabilizer is so important, it's become part of the Saturn's motto: "When you're ready for action, lace up the Saturn and go!"
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